February 26, 2012
I had to let go and say goodbye. Thank you for always being understanding and giving me that sense of feeling that I haven’t felt in so many years. I am sad about this whole situation…wish that it were different…many miles away from each other and nothing we can do about it. I know it’s unfair but in reality…I can’t handle being away from someone I care about for that long and I know you feel the same. Talking to you is getting harder and harder down the road…it makes me want to be with you even more but I can’t….I’m glad that I finally got to know you since it has been 9 years of knowing who you were :)…you are probably the most interesting and amusing guy i have ever met…and I know for a fact I wont forget you…Thank you for all the laughs and extra days of just laying around and holding each other…you are special to me no matter what you say…..
goodbye jamale…
1.) We’re all alone well, kind of. This sounds grim, but it’s not! There is a freedom in realizing and embracing the fact that at the end of the day you’re sitting in your own skin with your own thoughts and realities. One of the most beautiful parts of being alive and continually pushed into the world is knowing that every single person on the planet also goes to bed in their own skin, with their own thoughts and realities. Learning and exploring new people offers you the opportunity to change some wobbly realities you’ve created and equally allows you to challenge someone else’s.
2.) Everyone wants to be loved. I believe this from the very bottom of my heart. Some people spend whole lifetimes trying to deny themselves the magic and wonder of being loved. The world is weird, man. People are becoming increasingly disconnected from other people and I can only conclude that this is because of an underlying fear of really sharing ones self with another soul. Its scary, but even if you open that door and subsequently have to shut it, I guarantee your heart is better for it.
3.) People are really weird. Some of the most amazing and inspirational people I have ever met are also the weirdest. The old saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” couldn’t be more true. Some people who appear to be so transparent can sometimes end up being the most hidden. And some of the most nondescript can end up being the most magical and unhinged.
4.) You’re not better than anyone. This is not a race, y’all. I had a crash course lesson in this when I was 16 years old. Suddenly I realized that competing against the world at large would only bring me misery, and worse off, would be a complete waste of my precious time in this brilliant and bizarre world. Quit comparing. Quit hiding yourself. There’s always someone who is more _______than you. Find yourself and love the s**t out of it. If you can’t- who will?
5.) Mean people are just fearful. It’s hard to not return rudeness with rudeness. I’ve slowly learned this since moving to the east coast. But if she’s rude to you, and you’re rude to her where do you end up? Next time someone is mean to you or cruel, remind yourself that that person is just fighting a battle they haven’t overcome yet and that most likely, that s**t aint yours to bother with. Let it go and it will let go of you.
6.) Everyone’s a teacher. At some point you realize that you’re an eternal student. People all around you are here to show you something new. Listen to other people. When you are most convicted about your own beliefs it is a prime opportunity to step back for a moment, truly listen to the other side and work out whether or not you subscribe to their belief or sentiment. You’ve changed people’s minds about a lot of things, let them change yours.
7.) Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep…feel it all – look around you- all of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.
This list is by me for you. xox amelia
You can read more from Amelia Olson on her blog.
So, this is the start of my 10 day cleanse…
I need to document this so i can look at myself on day 10 and see that i accomplished this!! :D
I CAN DO IT!
Day 1: Chugging the SWF…..disgusting…I hate chugging something especially if its SALTY!!! sigh, but I gotta do it. note to self: DO NOT ADD LEMON JUICE TO THE SWF TASTES LIKE SHIT….and its teaspoons, not tablespoons -___________-
HEALTHIER JESSICA.. :D
I can’t believe it…I am done as a undergrad student!!
I accomplished my goal in life.
COMPLETELY SATISFIED!
:(
What are the chances of meeting you again…and feeling like a highschool girl…those 8 years that passed really changed us…at least for the better :D I really do like spending those extra days with you and talking into the late dark nights…laying under the stars were probably the cutest happiest moment in a while…
knowing that I have one more week to spend with you…makes me sad to know that you are leaving… </3
It’s funny how life is full of surprises. After 8 years….we meet again.
Oh, how things have changed :)
(Source: raindropsonredroses, via onsomenewnew)
I havent done this in a while so here I am!
mmm someone that I feel strongly about…haha, well i guess that would be my trophy*. You really got me hypnotized boy…hopefully…maybe this turns out for the better between us :p hehe
(via freedomreigns)